A leap!

Although I haven't started on my T, yet what I have done was to got the load off my chest. That's correct...I got the top surgery done right here in my hometown. I am feeling much lighter, physically and mentally.
It was a major leap and an unforgettable experience. I was under the knife for over five hours and lost quite some blood. But I'm okay now....in fact, I haven't been better.
But what a feeling it is! It's been almost three months now. One major fallout of the surgery was that I have almost lost a nipple...hardly anything to cry over...other than that...it is as good as it can get.
Before: I would never look at myself below the neck when dressing. Used to try and avoid looking at those ugly things. Hated what I saw. Had to wear shirts that were too large for me in a poor attempt to hide the obvious. Even though I wasn't really big, and would pass off easily, it was something that made me feel hate my body during intimate moments and even otherwise. Now all that has changed...
After: Immediately after I regained consciousness, there was a tremendous sense of loss. I don't know over what. I have always hated that part of my body and thought that when it would go, I would be happy. I am extremely. But honestly, I think it was a sense of sadness for the fact that it really was a long struggle. I think I felt emotionally drained. Sometimes I really feel that this never happened and that I was always like this.
Now I just can't stop looking at myself in the mirror. Earlier I would never wear T shirts, cos I thought they enhanced rather than concealed me. But now, I am happy to wear anything that suits me. I still don't believe this has happened. I have done it! No, we —me and my better half — we did it, together. It is still taking so much time for it to sink in...one day at a time...I realise what has changed...and it is every single day that I appreciate it more...I thank God, my spouse and a handful of real friends for helping me rediscover myself.